Bounceback should bounce off the face of the planet

Girl is famous. Girl begins writing her own music. Duo comes along and tells her she’s not good enough. Girl cries. Girl hires duo to write music for her. Girl goes bad. Loses millions of fans. Well, a handful at least.

That’s what happened when Bounceback met Ayumi Hamasaki. Or at least my sources say (re: I sorta made it up). What’s up with the fact that Ayumi began penning her own awesome music and then suddenly it wasn’t good enough? Although, to her credit, she did stop writing most of the songs on RAINBOW. However, it’s only now that Bounceback arrived that things are starting to get cheesy and messed up.

OK, so Bounceback becomes famous writing really bad music for artists like BoA. So then let’s get them to write really bad music for Ayumi, too, because at least she’ll stay famous? I don’t mind “ourselves” and I actually quite enjoy “No way to say,” but I just don’t understand “Greatful days.” I feel like that dude in Wayne’s World. You know, Cassandra’s producer. when they ask him what a sphynxter says? And he goes, “You want me to say what? Like…I don’t get it…” That pretty much sums it up. “Greatful days” sounds like Country Musume on crack. Bad, bad, bad. Not good. The music video? Equally painful. Disturbing, too. Now, I know that Ayumi is ever evolving. Her style usually changes from single to single, from album to album, etc.; but I didn’t know it could get this bad. When you start dishing out the cheesy R&B Adidas dudes and the scantily clad women in the music videos, we’ve got more then just a problem. We’ve got a career in crisis.

If this is any indication of what Ayumi’s future work will sound like, I’m left feeling numb with worry. “Real me” was cool. It was change. Incorporating that sound endlessly throughout a half dozen more songs is just ridiculous.